cover this shit
sabato, gennaio 31, 2004
TGIF
another wk has swung past and we're almost into february. gosh. it's gg too fast for me. how ironic, on one hand i can't wait to get out of jc, on the other, i wish time wouldn't pass so quickly. Have really come to appreciate all those around me. Right now, it's more of, let's enjoy as much as we can, while we still can. Although lots of us have pretty much toned down, and gotten alot more serious in our work. Not much of a choice, actually. *shrugs*
i swear all the teachers pick on me at least once for every lesson. especially the bio teacher. =sigh= grrr. i need alot of patience just listening to her, she nags, she preaches and gawd, i abhor that. just the other day i was stoning and looking @ my nails under the table, and she walked up to my desk, peered over," what msg u reading? give it to me." there was obviously nth there yet she wasn't satisfied, wanted to look under my desk. -_-
as for the other lessons, i gs most of the time it's because i look as tho i ain't paying attention la, but hey... looks are deceiving. fortunately, i don't get as traumatized as keong. somehow can manage to crap smth out, otherwise, i just act blur. haa. poor keong, gwee's scary. *whispers* was "saved" by him today when gwee asked him instead for the reagents/conditions for the rxns.. which i absolutely had no IDEA of. lol. when u're up there presenting the answers, its as though u're being subjected to an interrogation, pretty stressful. okay, enough already abt school. maybe it's a gd thing cos it keeps u on ur toes. i definitely pay more attn during lessons now. Only tutorials i enjoy now are james lim's classes. at least he leaves me alone, i like that independence.
find tht the teachers in nj really babysit us. nag and nag and nag.. waste close to 20 mins preaching b4 every lecture...
back in rg the teachers' are more of.. "u're doing this for ur own gd, if u don't too bad, cos i really can't be bothered if u don't put in the effort urself." they respect us as young adults, and that makes a huge difference. mm. the econs teachers here rock tho. kk. maybe not my tutor... but i like tht current lecturer and my gp tutor, it's more of the style tht i'm used to.
orientation was pretty fun la, considering. way way better than the cheesy one we had last year. *smilez* seemed as tho everyone was very enthu today. =laughs= angela called our grp the cool grp. muaha.. cos we refused to do all those silly dances and what not. thn i suggested getting ralph to wear the pinafore..(cos he was the smallest size guy there) but in the end cheekeong was the brave (unfortunate?) soul who did it. heh, and edwin wanted him to run a round, round the school, which he did *applause* mm real sporting of him, kinda promise him a treat.. so ahem, we pioneered the guy in pinafore thing. *sweatdrop* ck kinda coerced earnest into wearing the mgs U. AiYo.
we did the last task first, cos it had the most points. thn we kinda half-slack,half-enthu our way through the rest of the scavenger hunt. yup. ain't too bad.
mm bad memories relived when we met tht indian guy on the bus with the huge attitude problem. was wondering if it was the same guy, cos we were on 174 agn. but the other one was more shabbily dressed and super drunk. GawD. jh actually retorted back. i learnt it the hard way, when i did the same thing the last time, the guy FOLLOWED me down my stop. *sweatdrop* so was pretty tensed up watching the scenario unfold just now. but yea, with so many of us, didn't think he'd dare try anything funny, just cease agitating him any further and we'd be fine. mmhmm.
had dinner with the clique after tht. this is truly becoming a permanent friday after choir thing. funny how i don't like cliques, but i somehow always end up in 1? nevertheless i try to mix arnd as much as i can. applies to both the class and the choir. *shrug* when the clique gets too big, the relationships get pretty superficial, and tht sucks. cos ultimately, u don't really get to know each individual properly. herm. can't really explain myself now, tired. but i'm glad, cos i always enjoy myself arnd them. =)
gdnitee.
Gemstar blogged on 1/31/2004 01:34:00 AM
giovedì, gennaio 29, 2004
=bored=
i came up with a great plan tht will free some time up for me(to slack) during the weekdays.
Cos i kinda realized that my time-table ain't that bad. Mondays and fridays are the heavy days.. end abt 4, 5? thn have 3 tutorials for both days. Tht's the worst of it, i guess.
Tues is fine, we end at 3 there's gp,cl and pe in addition to the tuts and lects...which is pretty light. Wednesdays end at 1.20. yay. thurs has dbl blk gp and pe +math tut+ lects.
gp and cl can slack... which is gd. i love gp! pe is still torturous, but u feel this great sense of achievement, as well as exhaustion, after each lesson. haa. =p mr menon was damn entertaining today. we had to do some crunches/leglifts hybrids at the squash courts and he made us laugh till we couldn't do them properly. he really can go on and on with all those wisecracks tht he makes. Oohz. the worst part was running uppppp and downnnnn those stairs. gawd. -_-" no wonder nj doesn't have any fat pple... and all of us have... nice legs. *winks*
ok back to the subject...hafta learn how to space my wrk out nicely. which means, cheong all my homework over the weekends.thn slack for the rest of the week. can slp early, yay.
how cool is that? i kinda realized that stress comes from uncompleted assignments, tutorials yadda yadda. only way to get out of the vicious cycle is the get ahead in your work, thn you don't hafta worry abt meeting deadlines.Once u clear everything, u go 2 school pretty relaxed.
herm. looks at =list of hw=
bio:
-prepare mark scheme for essay question from plant tut
-plant mcqs
-animal transport tut.
-homeostasis mcqs
chem
-electrochem tut
maths
-integration tut
-integration ass. 2
econs
-tys
-essay
-readings
-wrkbk.
gp
- COMMONWEALTH essay
=sheesh= wonderful looong list i've got here eh. kk. here goes nth... will try this wkend and see how things work out. prioritize, prioritize.......
Gemstar blogged on 1/29/2004 11:37:00 PM
lunedì, gennaio 26, 2004
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
========================
omg this girl's beautiful, in tht dark angel sort of way.
Think the only thing we have in common is the erm, tousled, messy hair tht sticks out in all directions possible.
My hair is stubborn, can't tame it at all.
okay, out of pt. Well, i'm kinda making tht transition from science to arts.
Used to love the sciences, but now they bore me. Or maybe they've gotten too abstract for me.
Abstract forms of art intrigue me, but abstract science? *shudders*
It's all so factual, there's no room for deviation, and i so happen to be a deviant.
Find it pretty pointless mugging such stuff, when i probably will have no use for them in my future career.
sheesh. i study for the sake of studying. sadd.
Think our bc has just got more bimbotic than ever. AiyO. I guess acting ditzy does make this stoned-greY life a lot more bearable. Lights up your life, lights up others' too. well, we definitely had fun laughing @ each other today. Latest pet phrase?..." so BimBo !"
quotable quoTe: " that looks like a positive ELECTRON !!"
=laughs= xm cldn't differentiate btw tofu and chicken... and el didn't know how to poke the straw into her soyabean packet drink. "the pointed side or the unpointed side?" *sweatdrop*
yeah. we kinda decided that after As we'll all go explore aussie together! yay. that's definitely smth to motivate me, to pull me thru the ensuing bleak times. poor guyz tho, don't think they'll be able to join us if they're enlisting in jan. It'll be summer in aus in dec ! can picture us sun-tanning at the beaches already, and of course shopping! aus has lotsa nice summer clothing. a haa. maybe get a nice bikini or smth. =D gawd, i'm thinking too far ahead.
lately, been feeling this angst within me. Very very restless, never felt so tied down, so trapped before. i can't wait to graduate. can't wait to venture out into the huge scary world outside. maybe it's because i see tht my peers have all flown off, to chase after what they want in their lives. What they're going thru seem so exciting compared to the mundane rubbish i'm gg thru.
ht's prob abt 2 embark on some hot modelling career... jus is on her way to becoming the nxt big-shot producer in the media industry, xuan's in switzerland... nurie in UWC, british columbia...wei in england, df in california... vanessa, jun, wen, enid in aussie... not forgetting the dear godbro in london.
of all the above mentioned, i only keep in touch with 3. the rest just drifted or maybe i drifted away. maybe it's better tht way, too draining when u are overly emotionally-attached to people. afterall we're leading totally different lives now. Just wanna say to all these pple out there in the big wide world, take care yea? i'm truly envious.
Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
working so hard to prove myself. feel like crumbling into pieces sometimes. my dad doesn't understand at all, he thinks i'm being stubborn. had one of those arguments with him just now, and i'm really upset. he's an old stick-in-the-mud, always trying to impose his views on others. my mum, she tries... she's definitely much more open-minded. i love her for that.. maybe cos she knows how it feels like. i wonder what she went thru with my grandparents when she chose to go london to study music. did ah gong allow her to go like that... did he encourage her? but i did know she worked for it. all those summer jobs she took up.
and now i suddenly find myself crying in front of the com. and i don't know why.
so goddamn frustrating.
==============================darK anGeL. mY winGs are BounD... can't.... fly.
Gemstar blogged on 1/26/2004 07:03:00 PM
codespeak
#1 How wonderful, 2mr it's back to the stone dungeons again.
#2 CNY's not about the angpows, nor the food, nor the new stuff. It's about rediscovering kinship ties. All of the other above-mentioned are involved in the process of that discovery.
#3 The difference btw lil girls and lil boys? Lil girls chatter away happily to you. Lil boys run about making monster noises. Go on, figure it out.
#4 One of the worst insults you can say to a lil boy? " You girl ah?" Kudos to the parent for instilling early notions of masculinity in her lil boy.
#5 When you start noticing flaws and cracks in your once perfect fairytale world, you are no longer that innocent wide-eyed child.
#6 There is no number 6. I'm tired, grouchy and want my slp. gdnight.
Gemstar blogged on 1/26/2004 12:42:00 AM
sabato, gennaio 24, 2004
fuNNy how things NEvER turn out the way you want them to. -_-
i didn't get to watch my ballet in the end, there were no tics! sad.
AND i didn't get to watch my movie either. No peter pan! =sobz= it was so unfulfiling, bumming arnd orchard window-shopping whilst we waited. *sigh* nth 2 say le. think it was worse 4 cf, to spend his non-ns wkend like that.
dinner was okay, i guess. didn't expect mum to prepare so much food. i absolutely loved the soup.*slurps* oooh. the mochi ice-cream too. lychee's the best. =D
it rained on and on....becks, wei, me, hc,bear,zw and cf were stuck watching some cheesy taiwanese variety show, tht did provide some form of amusement for a lil while.
Shaun appeared b4 jiayan did. HeY shaun, proud of u lehz. lol. haa. take care k, sounds like a nasty bug tht u're carrying. now xw's sniffling away and she claims she caught it fr u.
watched lotsa tv. think the channel u show was pretty funny, in a lame sort of way. aftr tht we were supposed 2 pretend tht we were pissed w jy cos she took ages to come.(act like we haven't ate cos were waiting for her) but haa, i didn't have the heart 2 bluff her la. Poor girl was caught in the rain. she was qte shocked at the cold reception fr. the rest tho.. gd acting manz pple.
otherwise. i think everyone was pretty bored. i forgot abt 'entertainment' cos i was expecting 2 go 4 the ballet. *haii* didn't even know where my poker cards went, so told jy 2 bring a pack. thn the guyz pretty much amused themselves with it. *sweatdrop* pumping as forfeit.... errrr.
the rest of us settled in my rm 4 a cosy chat. turned on the music, dimmed the lights. dragged out the mattresses for them to sit on. drank iced water, ate apples for our source of vit C. seriously, think everyone's falling sick or smth. take care K. drink lotsa water, eat lotsa fruits! think i got so comfy, i almost fell asleep. =oops=
felt qte bad la.. leaving the rest of the guyz downstairs like tht... so aftr a while joined them downstairs agn. *shrug* they were too shy to come up. awww.
mmz.
yep. tht's abt it, nth exciting at all.
*haiii*
i don't wanna do my hw
i don't wanna go back to skewl
Gemstar blogged on 1/24/2004 11:41:00 PM
venerdì, gennaio 23, 2004
*bleah* spent so much time on the com uploading photos,editing html, dot dot dot
finally, *drumroll* i'm the proud owner of a photo album gallery tht's DIY-ed, thank you very much.. u pple better go appreciate the photos...
cos i spent AGES.
have a bad feeling abt the outings tmr, save 4 the ballet. that one, i'm pretty sure i'm gonna enjoy. it's in the durian. *hurray* can wear my new skirt. =)
=laughs= i can almost hear xiaomin gg, so BimBo!
mm bad feeling comes fr. the attendance. so far, erm i'm expecting abt 9 pple to turn up at my house tmr. hopefully, they'll come like they said. they BETTER. if you're reading this and you said u'll be coming, YOU BETTER do. cos my mum's gonna do the cooking and she's not gg to waste that effort.
and i'm prob gonna watch samurai 2mr...
peeked at the trailers just now. think it'll be a great show...*rubs hands in anticipation*
==========================================
an email forward tht i received, real meaningful
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
HaPpY thouGhtS
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20-dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Dancing barefooted on clear floors with best friends
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they opena much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
=====================================================
Gemstar blogged on 1/23/2004 10:44:00 PM
giovedì, gennaio 22, 2004
Feelin' the Same Way
~norah jones
The sun just slipped its note below my door
And I can't hide beneath my sheets
I've read the words before so now I know
The time has come again for me
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
Another day that I can't find my head
My feet don't look they're my own
I'll try and find the floor below to stand
And I hope I reach it once again
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same
way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
So many times I wonder where I've gone
And how I found my way back in
I'll look around awhile for something lost
Maybe I'll find it in the end
And I'm feelin' the same way all over again
Feelin' the same way all over again
Singin' the same lines all over again
No matter how much I pretend
========================================================================
Interesting, this song was supposed 2 be abt a hangover, but it really depends on how u interpret it. Right now, it applies to me.
Pretty weirded out lately, don't even know what i'm doing anymore, lol. Qte bad, keep forgetting to switch stuff off. eg, the com, the lights in the study, the toilet lights... blah blah, then keep getting scolded by my mum. *sweatdrop* plus i just lost the 2 pretty butterfly ear-rings i bought yesterday! One fell of whilst i was napping, the other dropped in the car. *sigh* bye bye butterflies... both flew away frm me. *pout*
cny this year's qte unfulfiling. maybe it's because there are no surprises anymore. everything we do has become a routine and yea, it's boring, to say the least.
new year's eve was okay tho. i guess i do enjoy reunion dinners. I hardly meet up with my paternal relatives, except during cny. It feels gd to be able to catch up on each other's lives. I used to NOT talk to them and keep to myself, but this few years' gatherings are getting better, can carry decent conversations with everyone (that are NOT on the subject of academics -_-) I get uncomfortable when pple start comparing. maybe, just maybe, they're happy to hear that you're doing well..otherwise, singaporean kids are stressed out as it is by the education system, there is absolutely no need for all those additional comments that deride your self-esteem. i know some pple who are really affected by such stuff. Thankfully, both my paternal and maternal sides are pretty neutral, they don't do that blatantly.
herm my lil-est cuzzie, CharltoN, is sooo cuTe. he's really fair, and has light coloured hair. he's pretty anti-social too, or maybe just shy la. Didn't allow anyone to touch him. I managed to con him into taking a picture with me. *triumph*
can tell he really adores his older brother, keep going... "kor kor nic, kor kor nic." shooooo cute. Played bomb bags, sparklers with them. haa, i just think tht the kids on my paternal side are really nice, no spoilt brats... at least they're willing to share. =)
after that was part 2 with my maternal relatives. Mmz, couldn't eat much. but yeah, went mad with the sparklers again.
aiyo, this bunch of cousins= wld be terrorists in the making. they kinda bunched 20 sparklers into one rocket. haa, captured an amazing videoshot.
shan and me
cnY phoTos
Gemstar blogged on 1/22/2004 11:45:00 PM
You are most like
Frodo Baggins, Son of Drogo
With many acquaintances, Frodo is deeply attached to a few people, like Bilbo, Aragorn, Gandalf, and Sam. His high ethics come out in his treatment of Gollum and Saruman. Frodo has pity on Gollum and believes that change can occur.
You have a strong personal morality. You are committed to relationships and their growth. You tend to be an idealist, believing the best of the world around you. Time alone is important and solitary activities refresh you. You have a tendency to introspection. While providing compassion and being considerate, you may have the tendency of being soft-hearted or even "too emotional" You like keeping your options open. Closure is probably not one of your strong suits.
The Orcs display the evil side of this personality with their lengthy torture methods.
Traits: Empathic, benevolent, looking to the future. On the dark side you could be sadistic.
LOTR perSonaLity QuiZ
Gemstar blogged on 1/22/2004 08:09:00 PM
martedì, gennaio 20, 2004
You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy with your life of purity and play.
Life's a game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and have been known to cause trouble, but it's all in the name of fun and not meant to really harm anyone. You like to play tricks on people who aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which is almost everyone.(=grin= guilty as charged)
Nature is the setting you prefer to be in - Always. (yupz, get me away fr. the toxicated fumes of the citY aaah.) Barefoot and wild you can't be tamed. You're probably a restless spirit who loves to travel, and quite a dreamer.
Your creativity is astounding and your art (of whatever media - from writing to painting to drama) is like something from another world - ethereal and often very fantasy-oriented.
You can either be a social butterfly or a loner with their head in the clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly refuse to accept responsibility or to give into the wishes of others - unless you feel like it. You have a strong passion for music and can't imagine life without it.You'll grow up someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and feel a deep connection with the weather,plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban backyards. Magic through and through, you are far more powerful than you seem, and are capable of being extremely passionate. Though you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and self-absorbed, one thing is certain - life with you will never be boring! (*wink*)
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Gemstar blogged on 1/20/2004 11:07:00 PM
First things first, a big thank you to candice, peiying, jelvin, shileng.... for the lovely present.
an *angeL* necklace... it's beautiful. [i'm wearing it now!] *smilez* am really touched sistas... *muackz* feel qte guilty sometimes cos i'm always not arnd 4 the both of ya. You both share a special place in my heart... *hugz* thanks dears, really appreciate it.
=SeEinG reD=
Was in this totally whiny mood today. *whineeeeeee*
heh, me, xiaomin and becks.. we were whining all the way during lessons.
my whining= almost on the verge of tears kinda sound. thn me, becks, kel, min and elisa just went mad la. relived all those childishness, with our pink pen fight. lol.
can't blame us. Had 2 hrs of math tut str!!!
i usually don't mind math tuts, cos james lim's really nice... but yea, it was absolutely draining. Which meant tht we ended at 5 cos of the extended blk! Non-stop lessons in btw... tht sucks totally, i wannnnt free blks !!!
And the main reason? heard tht we were gg 2 end at 8 for the rehearsal and yeah, think we ended later than tht. -_- *rolls eyes* universal piano postion. Like, wht the hell? =frustration=
Dunno how kel manages to look so cheery and chirpy after dance. maybe it's the wrkout la, brings O2 to ur brain. *smilez* sunshine girL.
honseng said i was showing a black face aftr kua's lect, didn't know it was tht obvious. lol. *whispers* actually it was more of, "i'm damn hungry and i wanna eat and i wanna go hooome." Not bothered at all with wad she said, cos it wasn't our fault in the first place.
dinner @ coro. gawd. chinyaw and shaun can really eat. -.-" Laughed @ xw's imitation of bearbear and zw. aiYo.
chinese new yr's almost here. i dunnoe, it seems tht whenever this period nears, something always seem to crop up within the family. =worries= last yr was my ah gong. this year, aunty-jun is dwn with dengue fever, she's hospitalized... low blood count. Xiao-jiu came over just now, and he looked pretty worn out. think he's having the flu as well... Must be tough on him, the to and fro hospital trips daily.. =sigh= heard another family's having domestic problems too. shan't elaborate, cos i guess it's really personal.
the new year always seems to bring abt... bad news.
such stuff does get me down, at times. tho, i don't show it. no pt getting pple worried abt others' problems. pardon me if i'm esp crabby these days, dears.
hope everyone stays healthy... and happy.
=retaiL theraPy=
didn't actually do any new yr shopping this yr. my mum bought all my clothes ! dunno if it's a gd thing or bad thing cos of the stuff she buys, erm only 50% gets my stamp of approval.
The latest "batch" she bought today, i really love! mm, 3 new skirts! there's a really sweet flowy white w light purple print skirt, a traditional--- aboriginal/bohemian style skirt, and a hot leather/jap-crossbreed mini as well. yeah, and she got this top tht has this slit in frnt tht's pretty revealing, not to mention, body-hugging. *sweatdrop* -_-
so much for the conservative parent.
ooh and there was also this skirt she bought fr. chinatown the other day ... flowy,silky, wrap-arnd with pinkish, orangey, green colour gradient. very erm, chinese dance, but really pretty.
dad says," damn, i feel old already... i see a young lady in front of me." =grin=
well, it's a girl thing, i guess. afterall, i'm 18 ! *winkz* i enjoy experimenting with diff styles of clothes, and now i get to play arnd with the adult looking kinds, lol.
altho... *thinks* tht's kinda too many skirts for 3 days of bai-nian rite?
oh well, gtg. tired.
Gemstar blogged on 1/20/2004 12:24:00 AM
sabato, gennaio 17, 2004
Pretty in scarlet
So pretty in scarlet
We slept a while
to turn it off and get it out of our minds
i slept a while
to get it all
it seems allright
to find a place without a single lie
where is the night
we run into
Cause nothing's good i can't explain
i'm falling down and caught up the rain
i turn myself into changes
the night i kissed you goodbye
cause nothing's good i can explain
i'm falling down and caught up the rain
to turn myself into changes
(your death is over)
You wanna live a life pretty in scarlet
come on
You wanna wash it down i'm pretty in scarlet
turn myself to say goodbye
You wanna live a life pretty in scarlet
come on
You wanna wash it down i'm pretty in scarlet
turn myself to say
It's ok
It doesn't count
found my place
a deeper sound
let me dive alone
let me dive alone
You gave me wine
to poison me and take away my time
i can hear your cry
i wonder why
Cause nothing's good i can't explain
i'm falling down and caught up the rain
cause i turn myself into changes
the night i kissed you goodbye
cause nothing's good i can't explain
i'm falling down and caught up the rain
i turn myself into changes
your death is over
You wanna live a life pretty in scarlet
come on
you wanna wash it down i'm pretty in scarlet
turn myself to say goodbye
you wanna live a life pretty in scarlet
come on
you wanna wash it down I'm pretty in scarlet
turn myself to say goodbye
Pretty in scarlet
Pretty in scarlet
Pretty in scarlet
You wanna live a life pretty in scarlet
come on
you wanna wash it down I'm pretty in scarlet
(2x)
Pretty
she's pretty
she's pretty
and i run, and i run, and i run, and i run away
and if you throw a stone on me
and if you need some pain to see
and if you live your lies
I will run, will run, will run, run away
and if you throw a stone on me
and if you need some pain to see
and if you live your lies
I will run
==================
i'm addicted to this song.
==================
Gemstar blogged on 1/17/2004 10:51:00 PM
Seasons of ChanGe
sprinG, summEr, autumN, winTer.
Batches of students stepping into the portals of school, excited and fresh-faced... time whizzes past, graduation looms. A new batch steps in.
Life's cycles are inevitable and irreversible. And tht's what i sensed watching those new faces in choir today. We've moved on, and they're now standing in the exact places tht we once had been in.
so that's how the yr 2s felt last year. Listening to the teachers "praising" us, wow, i never knew they thought so highly of us before. haa. now we know the tactics they employ.
We took a long time getting to where we stand now, and it seriously is something to be proud of. Honestly, i think my batch is coming along pretty nicely. Although we aren't as dynamic as our yr 3s, at least there isn't as much turbulence, in the sense that conflicts are pretty much non-existent.
The new altos. hmm. i foresee another wacky bunch. the few "louder", "crazier" ones are in A2. yay, we rock.
** as an afternote, rascal's moved into ish's tank. he looks pretty happy inside, heh, a happy luohan. More space for him to swim wad. rascal's the naughty fella who always tries to jump out of its tank to catch water-droplets. All in a day's work for the life of a fish. See wad i mean abt the new replacing the old? At least the tank's not empty now. there's just smth forlorn and sad abt an empty tank. **
B'daY MaRaThoN
Imagine singing the b'day song.. 9 times ?! -.-"
haa. so we had a january baby b'day bash today.
Preparation for the event got me qte flustered. Missed warmups os the bkshop because i had 2 trnspt the cake to school. was LaTe... there was nowhere to tap my card. Why isn't there any reader at the main gate? or is there? sheesh, someone enlighten me.
mm. glad everyone loved the cake. it's chocolate cheese cake with lotsa strawberries on top!!! mmm,HeaVeNLy. Pity i only got like, 2 mouthfuls of it?? now i gotta go round collecting $ for el's prez+cake. No, the ingredients do not come free, and i'm sry pple, my mum's not sponsoring it this time.
ooooh. and we realize tht our CT's really mr nice guy under that "stern" front that he puts up. He treated us to pizza today!!! as a welcome gift he says. 4 boxes of pizza + 2 cakes !! mmhmm.YummY. my class is so "happening" !
Gemstar blogged on 1/17/2004 12:56:00 AM
giovedì, gennaio 15, 2004
Empty fishtank
As usual, the water's clear, with the pebbles strewn messily across the bottom of the glass tank.
Only difference is, no more luohan.
After suffering in silence (fish can't speak, can they?) for the past few days, the dear pet departed from this world today. Truth is, i was never really fond of fishes until i met this one. It was like a lil puppy tht followed me around or rather, it tried to, albeit being confined within the boundaries of its glassy home. The tank's placed next to the staircase, and whenever I or anyone in the family walks past it to go upstairs, it'll eagerly swim along and will stay there dutifully watching... till our legs disappear from view. mmhmm, arg, i miss it already. *tears* =/
i reckon it recognizes me. Haa. tell me, which fish can differentiate between 2 pple who look pretty similar? Don't laugh, but yea, the luohan ignores my sis, but it responds to ME. Yea, and my mum as well, cos she caters its meals. =p
Bah, really sad watching it fade away slowly over the past week. It ate very little, became very moody, and stoned alot beside the tank filter. Then came the swelling of its eyes and it gradually lost colour... became really pale, many many shades paler thn the healthy red/silvery/greenish of what its scales used to be. *sigh* Think it pretty much became blind in the end, with the eyes bulging out like that.
If death meant release from its pain, i guess it's not a bad thing. Though, i sure miss it.
RIP, ish.
===================================
Listening to.... Pretty in Scarlet ~Guano Apes
Sidetracking a lil here, but i posted this song on my blog yesterday, and this happened today. The fish was really a pretty scarlet (where the gill fins were) when it was healthy . *shrug* weird. yea, the song's abt smth entirely different altogether, but its just this feeling i get, and if you listen carefully, death is mentioned somewhere. aiyo.
==================================
Gemstar blogged on 1/15/2004 09:03:00 PM
lunedì, gennaio 12, 2004
The Aftermath
"There's always something about the aftermath of a special occasion that puzzles and disturbs me.
After a special occasion you just realise that, indeed time doesn't slow down for you and the world doesn't stop turning just for you.What's happened has happened, so tomorrow is going to be like any other normal day.
And it is depressing to know that. Well, at least I got to enjoy myself for a day. When the sun rises tomorrow morning, everything will return to its normal state and I've got to start living this mundane life again.
Suddenly, I feel like a princess in the Disney world. Just that for me, it's not happily ever after."
~jus
hey jus, tht's exactly what i'm feeling rite now... =/
The 2pid bear just had to rub it in!!! hmmf, insensitive male. it's qte scary how my mood swings nowadays, and at the momment, it's pretty low.
i'm now officially a yr older...18, yea almost reaching the gateway to adulthood. i have the freedom to do lotsa things tht used to be out of reach because i was underage. All those comments abt buying alcohol, clubbing and what not. -_- i don't see what's the big deal actually. it's like... so what? heh as u can see, i'm not really embracing all these supposed "privileges" that i can now enjoy.
the freedom does come with a price. it's called responsibility. I have to answer to myself, if not to my parents. right now's not the time to party yet. i'll party when there's a reason worth partying for.
Life's too short for regrets, or so they say. well, there are 2 ways to see that. You can live day by day, ignorant in bliss, only content in enjoying the momment. No regrets, you say... but are you sure such aimlessness is what you want? afterall, you are enjoying yourself, right?
The second way is by seizing whatever opportunities that come along your way, and by sheer effort put in, make it turn out well for you. It may be tough, but the taste of that final victory is sure.... sweeet. No regrets then.
The key to everything? balance One's got to think in the long-term, plan for the long term, while maximising the potential of the short-term. (heh, the econs student strikes, lol.) yeah, food for thought pple.
hmm. The most important thing to me now is facing my problems head-on and handling them well. Then i'd be assured that they won't come back to haunt me again. Some regrets are just not worth the emotional pain, and i found out tht by being frank to myself and those involved, it best solves the problem.
i'm supposed to have grown a lil wiser, grown more mature. have i? maybe i have, at least in terms of interpersonal relationships, i've grown pretty adept at handling them without being fake. I'm me, i'm not afraid to show that.
i've always been a serious kid, more or less. i think alot, sometimes too much. it's the friends i had surrounding me that changed me into who i am today. Cheery, bubbly, outgoing... i wasn't always like that you know. Just call me anti-social, heh. But i like the way i am now.
and there are times i return to lil kid mode.=laughs= okay, just stop rolling ur eyes. i'm entitled to tht k. i don't wanna grow up tht fast .... YiKEs.
Like how i insisted on blowing the candles today. i mean, how can you have a b'day... with no b'day cake and no candles??? how can?!!
my mum baked this blueberry/strawberry cake on fri.. and she cut it into slices and gave a few to my aunt w'o letting me cut the cake first !!!! warH. so we got an ice-cream cake and i got my candles. i blew them out in 1 breath. yay. =D
Gemstar blogged on 1/12/2004 10:48:00 PM
officiaLLy 18
woW.. thx pple, for making my 18th b'day so special. love u all lots, truly. *huGz* i feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
*smiLe*it all began arnd midnight, with all those sms-es wishing me happy b'day and asking " am i the first ? " haa.
aiYo, like tht also wanna compete. so cute. =grin= think i fell aslp pretty early, cos i woke up to summore.. some sent arnd 1 plus?! warh, all no need slp one izzt?
==>to: becky,cf, zw, josh, mich, jus, xinyee, huiLin, sy, chris, cy, yit
thaNks for the well wishes =) i am touched, cos i haven't spoken to some of them 4 ages, and they actually remembered! *sniffles*
becKs, haa.... lemme report to u: accessory transfer is complete. grin. i moved all my earrings,rings, bands,chokers and all the lil BiTs and PieceS into the box u gave me le. haaa. really sweet of ya. it's so colorfuL. LoVe it, thanks.
ohz. and congrats to cy. warh, u can officially driVe. so CoOL.
==> the Q-UaH 4 the early morning b'day chorus. (warh, was so paiseh la... they were so loud !!!) mmhmm. err, thx peepz. ^_^"
==> chRisTine. okAy. pri school autograph bk??? errr. haa. okay. i'll def find uRs. thx deaR. yeah, must go out sometime yea? haa
==> the aLtoS oHmiGosH. i LoVed the present !!!!! assorted bimbo stuff. mmmhmm. nail polish, manicure stencil and applicator... a purse, hairclips, tigger cardholder.. did i leave anything out?? warh think u all really put in alot of effort choosing the items. so sweet...haa. my darling altos, thx yea? *MuaCK*
==> NaVin. hEy.. u remembered? ha, must be edwin tell u 1z. "piak" my hand so hard just now. aIYo. anw, thx bro!! yeah, tho i really wonder... how's our sLac-KinG doing now eh?
==> cliqUe/ BC colourful colourful penciL case and pretty pink card. lemme quote el : " must see you using this fr. 2mr onwards, u understand??" haaaa. OkaY. yes, ma'am. *salutes*
==> 03s22 for the b'day song to end off the school daY. YaY. i must say i was really caught by surprise.. and i still don't get how they managed to pass the card arnd the entire class 2 sign w'o me noticing... am i that blur?
yuPz... *big hug* for elisa who master-minded the entire operation, and chinG for choosing the present.
and the thing below was smth my lil sista senT. haa, how cute. amuSed. ^_^ 
"Bwahaha....
a little older and BIGGER!
ok, happie birthday...although abit wad to send ecard..MIGHT get u a present, but how cld u not open e door 2day?! hmm..shall forgive u since ur bdae."
(yea, i didn't open the door for her yesterday when she got home, cos i was too darn lazy 2 go downstairs, and i was in the process of sulking, heh.)
Gemstar blogged on 1/12/2004 06:45:00 PM
domenica, gennaio 11, 2004
In 10mins time, i'll be LEGAL. wow.
as so the song goes..
"when all the world is a hopeless jumbLe,
and the raindroPs tumble all around.
Heaven opens a magic lane. "
(okay, don't thow the eggs)
i actually saw a rainbow on my way 2 ps. I gs it's His way of telling me i should stop sulking and smile. mmhmm, really special. i'm a lucky girl.
enjoyed myself at the movie. SchOoL of RocK. it's a really cooooool show. yup. too tired to continue. later. a big thx to those who came.. really appreciated the company. =)
Gemstar blogged on 1/11/2004 11:59:00 PM
*sULk*
pissed again. those pple who said they cld come didn't turn up. wth.
i mean, it's understandable if they had stuff on and can't make it, but they should at least have the courtesy to give me a call and inform me rite??
no call... until I called june and realized. haotian's sick, poor dear. and SHE was supposed 2 call and tell me abt the change in plans. guess she was too sick to care.
all alg i was under the impression that they would be coming. -_- arrrg.
the rj pple, who were supposedly keen on coming..... well, i had no news fr. them at all! (and i was actually pleasantly surprised, when they saed they wanted to come.)
the rest, had to be late for some reason or another...which left me and yit stranded at ps lar.
i am so NOT amused. cancelled the entire thing.
thank god for best friends, she brightened up my day.
mmm. movie outing later. warh if smth like this happens agn, i can just cry lar.
i so hate empty promises...and i was really looking forward to seeing everyone agn!! BLAH.
DISAPPOINTED. u know, it's thru inccidents like these tht u realize who are the ones who really care.
right now, i'm glad for my choir franz. i kinda msged them on last min. notice... and they were so agreeable, i'm really touched. thx, pple. =)
=======================================
still wanna say a thank you to
sy.. loved the handmade card(cube). mmhmm. it's tiny!!! ha damn cute. yep, known u for 4 yrs already? woW. haa. yep, u're the big bro, always watching over me.. thankS. i truly appreciate all the effort u put in for me, teaching me, and the offers to help me do my hw!! *faints* nar, don't tempt me. i'll do it myself. Last yr in med school must jiayou k! u're almost there. thn can boss all the med students/trainees arnd. (or are u doing tht already? muaha.)
yit.. for the "burnt" cd, dangly ear-rings.. we go a long way back too. yep. all tht i wanna say to u, has already been said. *hugz*.
just love the personal touch u pple add in.
======================================
~more than worDs
Gemstar blogged on 1/11/2004 05:03:00 PM
venerdì, gennaio 09, 2004
HeaLth MaTtERs
i am so @#$%^^%# frustrated. =/
this has been a horrible week for me, by all standards. Spent the WHOLE of yesterday suffering from this never-ending bout of migraine. gawd, it was terrible. my head was throbbing like mad, felt as though the pain was going to swallow me whole =(
spent my pe lesson(the last blk) sleeping at the grand-stand. I actually fell asleep (aah, temporary relief) then woke up to pins and needles to both of my legs. omg, pe lessons suck totally. after watching all my classmates undergo all tht physical torture, i hereby conclude tht thong's mad.
went home, napped for abt an hour then dragged myself to tuition. after that, i think i knocked out totally. slept from 7plus at night until this morning. (10 plus)
needless to say, i gave school a miss today. haiz. was contemplating if i should go for voice trng later, but i see no point. can't sing with a sore throat anyway.
went to see the doctor just now, and he attributed my case as a result of overwork.
bleahz. yeah, it's true. i realize that
1) i am a workaholic.
2) i can't take care of myself properly when i'm in work mode.
it's one whole vicious cycle : mmm it all starts in the morning. I find that i can't stomach food so early in the morning. gastic problem, la. My stomach hasn't adjusted back to school life yet. I just feel very nauseous in the mornings, so i skip breakfast.
obviously, that's not good, it affects the rest of my day totally. Because of low blood sugar, one just feels... WEAK.
have to endure that emptiness in my stomach until break. Even during break, i can't eat much, so i try to take something light. Lunch, i eat as normal. although, suddenly, i find that i'm pretty scared of the sight/smell of food.
gosh. would think i'm becoming anorexic or smth.( like the constant bouts of nausea tht'll hit me when it comes to food.)But i don't happen to have a negative body image, i'm not weight concious at all.
Something like this happened last year before, yep in january too! During the orientation period, my stomach was totally against me. sheesh i guess my body is still trying to adjust, to the earlier mornings,
later breaks, later lunch breaks.
The body's threshold pains are a sign that something is wrong. For me, i guess it's a phyisical manifestation of all that stress, tension and anxiety. blah. rushing deadlines, skipping meals, sleeping less than 6 hours per day. Voila, i would be surprised if i DON't fall sick.
i think it's time for me revamp my lifestyle habits, don't wanna look like some old hag before i reach 40 or die young because of cancer. Bah, i need better time management skills. All this mad rush because of the uncompleted hw is draining me out. it's absolutely disgusting! -_-
i mean, if i fall sick, i wanna fall sick because of a better reason. Like because i was playing in the rain or smth. haa, tht sounded stupid.okay, make that, i don't wanna fall sick at all.
this year pretty much started off on a bad note. only bright spark ahead this wk-end is meeting up w. the rest of the gals for my b'day dinner at my place tmr.miss them loads,and i seriously need some cheering up.
=/ still upset. the stupid printer can't print. wth.
Gemstar blogged on 1/09/2004 05:19:00 PM
mercoledì, gennaio 07, 2004
oooh. the pub stunt turned out pretty okay today. yay! =) mmhmm, over in a matter of mins, or secs?
=phew= was pretty tensed in the morn when they were pract rainbow(bleah, i'm SICK and TIRED of that song) couldn't concentrate actually, was trying to psych myself to get into stage mode.
maSkeD emoTionS 1 thing abt performing/acting... b4 u're up there in front of everyone, u just have to tuck your real personality away in this lil box and get into character. yea, put up a gd show for the audience.
i have my inhibitions, i am so NOT comfortable with public speaking. -_- yet somehow i always get sabotaged/conned/coerced/persuaded into this kinda stuff. mmm remember those few inter/intra-class debates kinda thing we had in rg/nyps? *shudders* i concede, it was kinda fun, experience i guess. all those =freak out... freak freak freaking momments= before each one. i kinda realize the more one tries, the easier it gets after each experience.
*smilez* at least i didn't stumble over the words today, and the comments i got fr pple were pretty encouraging.yay. ;)
yea, i was freaking out today too. read me: when i look damn serious, calm and composed, it usually means i'm freaking out totally on the inside. it's my mask. :)
Gemstar blogged on 1/07/2004 11:11:00 PM
lunedì, gennaio 05, 2004
was in a horrible mood today. =/
school sucks, i HATE being in year 2.
chem teacher's awfully pushy, really stressful being in his class... even xiaxia and cheryl agreed with me. i mean like we're already organized into study grps + remedial classes?!!
i mean, it's true, our class' chem is generally weak, i gather he really has to be patient with us, instead of pressurizing us to give him answers when we absolutely have no inkling abt what's going on. hmm, he's definitely better thn last years' tho.
met cindy and tammy tho! they were dressed in rg U.. ha. reversal of roles?
lol. my snrs look younger thn me. aaaah.
day2 of schl and i feel as tho i'm thrown into some dungeon. traPPeD. =/
aiyo. i'm in no mood to crash orientation. enviouS tho, they're really enjoying themselves!
=mutters darkly= none of them has any idea abt what lies ahead of them.
just like we were back thn... so carefree, and bochap abt everything.
Gemstar blogged on 1/05/2004 05:56:00 PM
domenica, gennaio 04, 2004
just got back fr. the choir bbq.
=phew= mmm, maybe i shouldn't have gone. it's not the bbq, it's me.
the snrs were really nice to us. Shujun was really sweet. =) Qj, wenyou as well, kept offering us food. =laughs= at the memory of xiaowei gg round feeding everyone the potato salad. ooh. they loved the salad. yay. me and becks were the ones who made it. *triumphant look*
I guess i'm not a bbq person, can't stomach down those oily, half-burnt food.yikes Me and becks went to bk for dinner aftr that. and we walked around the place... got a pair of slippers each. i bought black tatami ones.
and i got a gemstar (literally) it's so pretty...!! i think it's prettiest thing i ever saw. =)
it's this crystal pendant shaped in a star, sparkles pinkish beige under the light and when u place it on a black background it shimmers turquoise !!! so cool, it's a crystal star, gemstar... it's me!
*sobz* but i dropped it on the floor accidentally when i got home. was showing it excitedly to my mummy and sister.
bah. wanna cry. 2 corners got chipped off. really sad. =sighz= arggggggg!!
One of my resolutions was to work first and play later. but it seems as tho i've broken it already. bah. =/
quite a few pple are telling me to loosen up, to not feel so stressed, afterall, this is only the beginning.
but i am, i am stressed. procrastinating really sucks. =sheesh= it's horrible starting the yr with a homework debt (what's new?) , and the guilt that compounds me won't go away, at least not until i've completed my work.
i'm turning into a kan cheong spider. =grimaces=
i started this year with a grim determination to make it turn out well for me. i felt nothing when i counted down. or did i even join in the the countdown?
somehow, i feel lost. very lost. but how can one feel lost when you have a direction? I expect myself to get those As eventually. are they still within reach? i guess they are, as long as i'm willing to work hard. cos like what my teachers used to say, i have the potential to achieve. i know that. it's just that ,well, i slacked my year one away. =sheepish look= mmmhmm.
and i played my hols away too.
okay girl, .. it's time to face reality. Like seriously face it head on, kick its ass. =p
i have to remind myself to continue facing it. and yeah, stop procrastinating.
procrastinating is BAD.
Gemstar blogged on 1/04/2004 01:58:00 AM
sabato, gennaio 03, 2004
new year, new blog?
figured that i'd prefer more freedom while blogging, so i decided to move my blog.
Gemstar blogged on 1/03/2004 12:00:00 PM
